"Now - here is my secret:
I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again,
so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God -
that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem capable of giving;
to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love."
-Douglas Coupland (Life After God)
I guess I'm trying to change. Study more and pray more. Wish me luck :)