If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler’s felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does.

- Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer

they say an end can be a start.
despite all my shortcomings, do you believe that all I had were good intentions?

I feel like I'm wearing a huge fluffy fur coat. people talk to that coat, they say nice things - sometimes bad- and while it was really good of them, the real me is inside that coat. I hear things, and I respond to it. But things that come out of my mouth, comes out of that coat differently. do you get what I'm saying?

What I say and what I feel are completely different things.

And though inevitable, it does make me sad that things are changing. For better or for worse.