hello

okay, shitty new layout. Sue me, I'm desperate. Will definitely update with a cooler one B)

Top 10 Things Today's Kids Will Never Experience

1. Camera Film - Gone are the days of hearing the film rewind into its casing, transporting it to a photo lab and patiently waiting to find out how amateurish your snapshots look.

2. Landline Phones - For most young folks, the only way they will own a landline phone is if cell reception is bad at home or if a cable triple-play package is more cost effective.

3. Real Books - More and more people are reading ebooks, with sales of electronic editions besting hardcovers for the first time this summer. The iPad is set to further challenge the physical book’s 600-year reign.

4. Being Lost - The days of asking for directions are done. Smart phones make life so easy. Now countless apps can utilize GPS technology to pinpoint your location and direct you to your desired locale with ease and precision.

5. Music Videos on MTV - The television station once famous for forward-thinking music video shows like 120 Minutes and Alternative Nation — even the early years of Total Request Live — now can largely be summed up in three words: gym, tan, laundry. What happened?

6. Walkmans - Yesteryear’s Walkmans were indispensable, allowing us to take our beloved mix tapes everywhere. But the equipment was overthrown. First came the Discman, then the iPod. A new vocabulary developed—”MP3s,” “iTunes playlists”—and before you could hit pause, words like “rewind” had lost all meaning.

7. The Glory Days of Nick at Nite - Traditionally, Nick at Nite was the place for the classics: The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Munsters and later The Brady Bunch, Happy Days and The Wonder Years and more. That was then. Since, the network has made a switch to contemporary shows like George Lopez, Malcolm in the Middle and Everybody Hates Chris. Classics? I think not.

8. Tan M&Ms - If you were born in or before the 1980s and your parents allowed you to eat candy, chances are good that you encountered tan M&Ms. But for those of you who had your first chocolate experience in the mid-90s, you will probably know the current M&M color line up, which includes the color blue.

9. Czechoslovakia - Oh Czechoslovakia, we hardly knew you. You seem now a faraway land, your name tripping off the tongue. What kid these days will think of your triumphant soccer teams, your famous dissidents? Will they remember a time when an Iron Curtain fell across the West? Will they know what it was like when the battle for democracy was finally won? And will they lament the ethnic nationalism that, in 1993, ultimately cut you in half? No, they won’t. They’ll just visit Prague, pretend to read Milan Kundera, and drink all your cheap beer.

10. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Terminator - Before he was elected Governor of California in 2003, Arnold Schwarzenegger had a long history of being buff, tough and dangerous — at least on screen. The Austrian-born politician started out as a bodybuilder, winning four Mr. Universe titles as well as an amateur title in the contest. He was unforgettable as the Terminator (which of course got him his nickname the Governator).


-from TIME.com

‘But luxury has never appealed to me, I like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands.’

there are no catchy phrases and sub-par photography to accompany this post.

Selamat sore!

Gue baru potong poni loh barusan. Gue ke salonnya nyetir sendiri terus abis dua jam manjain diri sendiri disana, langsung balik ke rumah.

Oi Dy, penting abis ginian doang dimasukin blog. Hahahaha actually, gue nulis ini di blog karena gue baru aja dapet ilham. And well, gue pengen aja merealisasikan ilham ini dalam bentuk kata-kata. Biarin aja didapet pas di salon atau bukan >:p

Jadi gini ceritanya, tadi gue lagi duduk sambil buka twitter dan baca-baca novel sambil nungguin rambut gue di blow, tiba-tiba aja it hit me. Gue baru sadar selama ini gue nulisnya hal2 yang bikin depresi doang di blog. Yang emo2 shit gitudeh hahahaha padahal gue gak gitu doang orangnya. I'm much more than this emo fucked up teenager writing her sorrows on her blog. So, why don't I write a happy post once in a while?

And here it is. Abis dapet ilham bahwa gue harus nyoba nulis hal-hal yang lebih bright di blog, gue cabut dari salon. Gue masuk mobil, nyalain CD, terus injek gas. And I don't know what it was; it could be the sun setting in my rearview mirror, a nice song was playing on the radio, or the fact that I feel oddly independent -driving by yourself, paying by yourself, buy food for yourself--

Dan di saat itulah gue dapet ilham kedua untuk hari ini. I let go. Oke, gue bukan ngomongin tentang dia dan dia hahahaha Believe me, this is about someone else. I've loved and I love. But then again, the movies, the valentine cards, and the cheap harlequin romance novels got it wrong. It doesn't matter how long you wait for the one you love. It doesn't and wouldn't change the fact that he doesn't return your feelings.

Jadi, gue lepas sekarang! :P

Dan gue baik-baik aja sekarang. Sendiri itu lebih enak, walaupun kadang-kadang emang sepi. But right now, in this very moment, I'm happy to be by myself :)



and for you: as long as you're happy, then it will make me much, much more happier.

Synecdoche, 2008

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it’s what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn’t really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved.

And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I’ve felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I’ve been pretending I’m OK, just to get along, just for, I don’t know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen.

Motherfucking cocksucker. Motherfucking shit fucker! What am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I know that's all I can ask of myself. But is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy's a sign, right? Because if he isn't... then nothing in this world makes any sense to me. I'm fucked. Maybe I should quit. Don't quit. Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore. Fucker. Fuck! Shit!

-Albert Markovski, I Heart Huckabees.

my life in 200 words or less. basically.

Ey Mate!

Heya, I'm posting this from my hotel room in Perth, Western Australia :D it's not a very big hotel, but it's cozy enough. The sound of the TV is blaring in the background, something about Uruguay and South Korea and their chances at winning the world cup. Mom's in the bathroom, while a box of chips is my only friend hahahaha

Aside from accompanying my mum while she's working, I'm also here to check out the universities, or maybe I should say, my future university? hahaha I hope so. The people I know recommends Curtin University. I think it's like ITB from Bandung, but I don't know haha I've been to the campus yesterday, and it was pretty nice.

But honestly, I have my eyes set on The UWA, or The University of Western Australia. It's like the UI from Australia, and it is one of the best universities in the world. But personally, I love the fact that it's right next to the lake. The fact that the building looks like Hogwarts helps too hahahah that picture above is the UWA actually. Nice, eh?

And then, when I said -a bit jokingly- that I wanna study journalism and photography, a friend from here recommends the Edith Cowen University. I guess it's like the IKJ of Australia, where future painters and artists meet :P

But really, I haven't ruled out ITB and UI or UGM yet. (that's assuming that I can get in one of them hahaha) Though one thing I absolutely love about Perth?

It's peaceful, almost no motorcycles, and cars aren't allowed to honk if it isn't a real emergency. And the people; they're so laid back. I love it. Jakarta's really metropolitan and the malls always close at almost midnight, while in Perth, they close shop at 6 PM. Then it's just the bars and coffee places that open. I love, love, love it.

(And also, my friend from here has a boyfriend and they spend their summer holidays together here and go on a wine tasting ranch or some weird rock spurting water mountain somewhere, and I wonder; if I had a boyfriend here, would I do the same thing? :P)

If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler’s felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn't exist, and I have tried everything that does.

- Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer

they say an end can be a start.
despite all my shortcomings, do you believe that all I had were good intentions?

I feel like I'm wearing a huge fluffy fur coat. people talk to that coat, they say nice things - sometimes bad- and while it was really good of them, the real me is inside that coat. I hear things, and I respond to it. But things that come out of my mouth, comes out of that coat differently. do you get what I'm saying?

What I say and what I feel are completely different things.

And though inevitable, it does make me sad that things are changing. For better or for worse.

Bali

Hey there, long time no blog again. I guess I'm feeling a bit better since my last post. I'm trying to see the world through a different point of view now :)

By the way, that image above is one of the photos I took in Tanah Lot, Bali. I know it was super cliche to go there, considering almost every tourist comes to that place, but it's my first time there, so I took a lot of photos anyway :p

This is my first time travelling alone. Which is very very exciting. I love being alone in airports and watching strangers pass by minding their own business. I love watching people rush around while I just sit there, reading a book or writing or something. At first I wanted to document every move I made in my notebook, but my laziness got the best of me hahaha

First day, I arrived and it was hot like hell. And I was wearing tights, which let met tell you, sucked ass. I ate with my mom's friend and changed clothes. I was staying in this house in Tabanan, which is an area located near mountains of rice fields. Very beautiful let me tell you.

this is the view from my room. It's on the second floor and it's kinda creepy at first. But with a view like this, who can complain? See the rice paddies there? It looks better close up ;)

Second day, I spent the whole afternoon reading Kafka on the Shore on the veranda. It was a 5oo pages or something, and I finished it in a day hahaha It was a powerful book though, and I found a lot of wisdom there. One of my favorite quotes was the book's last lines. Soo spoiler?

Anyways, I'll end this post here. Might write the rest of my story later. bye :)

You'd better get some sleep, the boy names Crow says. When you wake up, you'll be part of a brand-new world.

You finally fall asleep.

And when you wake up, it's true.

You are part of a brand-new world.

last lines from Kafka on the Shore

the last couple of months, I've been oddly pessimistic. Looking back at my older posts, I see something different. I was happy and wanted to share it in my blog. Now, most of my posts are about how tired and sad I am. And I wonder why.

I don't want this.

"Maybe," he said. "Maybe I can get some kind of happy ending."
"Not only are there no happy endings," she told him.
"There aren't even any endings."

-American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

(he's always been one of my favorite) :)

Kosong.

Mungkin, kita semua kurang bersyukur.
Lihat, kita diberi harta berlebih. Keluarga bahagia. Pendidikan layak.
Kenapa kita masih mengeluh?

Akhir-akhir ini rasanya sekolah lebih terasa kayak kandang dibanding tempat belajar. Harus jaga sikap, kalo nggak bisa dikeluarin; kayak ayam jago yang kurang ajar lama-lama gak dikasih makan sama pemiliknya sampe mati. Gak tau. Capek sekolah akhir-akhir ini. Untung ada mereka, untung ada dia. Bisa membantu sedikitlah :)

Pikiran di dalem kepala membludak. Nilaiulangankkmnaikkelaslaporanpraktekhafalanulanganosishitungantemanteman--------
berlanjut berlanjut berlanjut. sampe rasanya bingung harus mikirin yang mana duluan. Pening.

Rasanya pengen kabur, kemanapun. Lari. Escapism. Tinggalin hal hal yang ada disini, bikin hal hal baru disana. Refresh. Restart. Mulai dari awal tanpa kesalahan-kesalahan, karena kita udah berpengalaman sekarang. Di kepala tempat pelarian itu padang bunga matahari, padang rumput; bunga mataharinya setinggi dada kita, padang rumputnya sehijau surga. Atau apalah. Yang kayak di post card.

Lupain semuanya, peduli setan sama semua yang ada disini. Lepas.

Mungkin ini pemikiran yang salah, tapi ini yang udah lama dipikirin dalem kepala. Untuk masalah di sekolah, ya begitulah. Kalo mengutip six feet under; "once I get out of here, I will never come back." Dan ya, itu yang gue rencanain sekarang. Mungkin ke depan bakal berubah. Mungkin persepsi untuk sekolah ini bakal berubah.

In the meantime, I thank him, I thank my friends, I thank you for giving me a reason to stay, if only for a while.

Oh, Douglas

"Now - here is my secret:
I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again,
so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God -
that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem capable of giving;
to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love."

-Douglas Coupland (Life After God)


I guess I'm trying to change. Study more and pray more. Wish me luck :)

Hell-o 2010!

Hellooooo, first coherent post of 2010 here! I guess you could see from my last entry that I'm feeling rather down. And it's true actually, 2010 has been a bit rough for me and everything's just... wrong. Idk. I'm sure everybody's felt this feeling before.

Anyway sekarang udah semester 2. Artinya? Gue harus jadi budak cinta pelajaran2 skrg, terutama yang ipa. Sheit juga sih gue ternyata rank 19, turun 9 dari kelas satu :( tapi karena kelas gue isinya kayak gitu semua ya gue ga kaget2 amat, nyokap juga biasa aja gitu gue dapet ranking segitu hahaha
Tapi ya itu tadi, akhir2 ini banyak masalah; terutama di sekolah. I'm not going to talk about it here, I'm not even going to mention it anymore, but long story short: It's been tough.

Terus... gue dikecewain beberapa orang bulan ini. It's fine I guess, artinya emang kita disini itu sendiri. Lahir sendiri, mati sendiri. Hidup juga harus dibiasain sendiri. Mungkin pendapat gue salah bgt, mungkin gue terlalu cynic atau apalah, but it's better to keep the bar low. Just believe in yourself and Allah :)

Hey anyway, tadi itu foto osis alpus1 tersayanggg, semoga acara besar kita sukses ya!

and hey, three months. Not bad :)

I feel lonely.